2 Minute Warning :D

So, it’s Sunday morning about 7am and, as usual, I stayed up on Saturday night until 4/5ish, so pretty much looking like I am not getting out of bed to go to church (even though I have a couple more hours before I would HAVE to get up to make it. When I went to bed last night I told God that if I woke up in time that I would go to church but I was not setting an alarm. It would have to be providence that got me up that early.


So anyway, here I was groggily looking at the old cell phone I use as an alarm clock and thinking, ok, God, I will set my alarm for 9 and then get up and get ready to go. I set my cell alarm and then crashed back to sleep before my head hit the pillow.

So, 2 hours later, my cell alarm goes off and bleary eyed I reach over and hit the snooze button and think, “nope, not going to make it, just too comfy and sleepy” but I will tell you what God, if my snooze time is every minute I will take that as you REALLY want me in church today and I will go. So, the snooze alarm goes off again (2 minutes later). Bahahahahahaha, I start giggling and get out of bed tell God He is a smart ass and that I am so glad He has such an awesome sense of humor! And I realize that He created me. God loves me. God called me to be in His kingdom. God finds joy in the things I do as well and God had a hand in created the sense of humor I enjoy which means that God also has a “quirky” sense of humor as well. I laughed all the way to church.

God is a Holy God, and He is to be praised and worshiped and glorified and approached with awe by His children. God is the King of all Creation and His Kingdom is unlimited. He is all things, knows all things, sees all things and is therefore not to be taken for granted or lightly. BUT, God is also the God of individuals. He is Abba Father as well and He takes delight in the joy of His children for He created them to have joy and even admonishes them to cultivate and seek it as they continue to follow Him and His plan. The same Almighty God of all Creation is also the God of Becki. Designer and creator of the personality He put in me and therefore He knows how to get my attention and how to make me laugh. He understands me because He made me and to be the one responsible for making ME, He has to have a really good sense of humorJ. So, that is how my day started.

The next revelation/inspiration to be delivered was while driving to church (still laughing, with the blue sky, the cool breeze, and the top down), was that I was evil by nature. O.O whaaaa… I get it now. That thing that I have never really got before, you know, all have sinned and fallen short, not one is righteous; our best is filthy rags, and so forth. Oh I believed that, because the Bible said it, but I have always been a good girl. I don’t sleep around, even though I want to. I don’t hurt other people deliberately. I go to work. I do my job even when I don’t “feel” like it. I don’t break laws. I am a model of the community and a functioning productive member of society.

Why would I be as “dirty” from sin as murders or thieves or liars etc…? And all of a sudden, without removing the joy and happiness I was floating in, (yeah that was a miracle) I recognized that I am an evil person. I could see that without God I would hate everyone; without God, I am consumed with anger and rage, bitterness and hopelessness, and cynicism and despair. Without God in my life I would have been consumed by rage and hatred delivered by the fallen world we live in. Even with God in my life, I struggle against these things (often under aliases) but without Him I would have been devoured.

All this was revealed by the Holy Spirit without ever breaking the feeling of joy as I drove to church. Even the moment of shocking comprehension was complacently accepted and followed by grateful acknowledgement and heartfelt thanks to the God of Creation for keeping me from being spiritually devoured and revealing the truth of my own dark path of destruction without Him. ALL revealed without ever dimming the joy that rode with me and caressed my heart like the wind blowing through my hair.

So now I arrive at church having been awakened by a smart ass with a hilarious sense of humor who got me laughing and feeling happy, then dropped the weight of knowing that I have nothing to have pride in and am in fact “filth” without Him (still not breaking the happy dance). You would think it has been a full day. But no, there are still revelations to be had.

There were a couple of other little things and a REALLY nice conversation with a friend. She confirmed so many of the things I have been dreaming and thinking about and it reassures me that I am not out in left field in my thinking and dreams. She also told me the final revelation from God for the day.

Getting to church has been very difficult for me for the past 2 years due mostly to being in a bankruptcy and having no money for gas (and sometimes no money for even food), but I think that things have finely turned around enough that I can afford to go to church at least once or twice a month. However, I have become somewhat detached from my current church after 2 years of missing most services. Nothing against them, just not connected anymore and I was thinking of moving on to another, closer, church.

I didn't tell her about my thoughts on possibly moving but she told me that she believes that in the past, church assembly was for fellowship and interaction with other believers, but that she believes that as we crash into the future, church assembly will become more and more about communion and fellowship with God. She pointed out the revelations and thoughts I have experienced today when the only thing I did differently was to get up and go to church.  So the final revelation of the day was about the importance of being in church, not neccesailry where I should go but that I need to go somewhere for sure.

Thoughts to ponder on.