Nothing. I feel absolutly ... nothing. No depression, no anger, no happyness, no heartache, nothing. Am I broken to far? Is hope truly gone? Everything is in shambles in the world around me. Work seems so overwhelming that I have no idea where to begin or how to carry on so I just keep walking forward, one step at a time. On a personal level, I have lost everything I ever believed in, the foundations of my entire belief system were shaken and appear to be destroyed. So I drift, but not in tears, just in emptyness.
I know in my head that this is NOT a good place to be and the thoughts of Laodicia worry me. Everything so lukewarm, certianly not hot, but not cold either, just drifting in pools of emotional nothingness. I don't want to be this way, but I just have no energy or belief that it will ever change. Oh I believe there is a God still and that He has a plan, but I have lost faith that I would ever be anything but alone and apart and it has killed something deep in my heart and my soul.
Dead things cannot hurt, cannot feel, so I feel nothing... and yet I will get up in the morning and go to work then come home and type on the computer or read abook or watch tv and then go to bed and repeat. Empty broken life.
And yes, I am kinda feeling sorry for myself, but not depressed. go figure.
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