So, I was in church last Sunday, unexpectedly I might add, and getting better aquainted with a truth that hits us all a little hard until we can find our peace with it and the preacher was talking about how Moses kept questioning God when God called him out to go and lead the children of Isrial out of several generations of servantute and bondage.  Several times God told him go, and Moses replied, 'who  am I.' Like all of us, it sounds like Moses wanted God to say something to the effect of... "You are special, called, ordained, blessed, gifted, empowered, etc... by the mighty Most High God.  All power will be in your hands and you will decend like a lighting bolt and deliever My People out of slaverly,"  and so forth.  But all God says each time is, "Tell them, I AM sent you."  That's it, Tell them that the God of all things said do it.  So Moses, being faced with a terrifying task and no promise of a specific power surge other than God was with him, did what anyone else would do and kept making excuses hoping that God would eventually give him some good ole Godly Power to go with that accompaniment.  Moses kept whinning to God about how incappable he was to perform this task until findly God tells him to take Aaron (his brother) with him and that Aaron would be the mouthpiece of the message and Moses would be as God to Aaron (meaning that Aaron would do the speaking but the message would come from God to Moses and Moses would tell Aaron what to say so they were God's words but they would flow through God's messinger Moses down to Aaron to speak aloud.)

Now this is where I got a bit of revelation.  Moses pushed and pushed at God, trying to get God to give in and give him the power he felt he needed to accomplish the task God set before him until God moved out of His perfect Will into His Permissive Will.  Meaning, sometimes we keep going back to God asking for Him to change the situation, perhaps to make it easier becuase we think it is too hard; perhaps to make us feel important and let us strut in the "borrowed" power like it actually comes from us or something.  Whatever the reason, God sometimes allows us to stray from His perfect path into His permissive path, meaning we will not go forward without what WE think or feel we require from God and God, being God, allows us to deviate into a path that will still ultimatly take us where God wants us to go, but it will be a much more difficult "ride" than the one God originally planed for us.

So, here we are, and Moses keeps telling God that he can't do it (just like we tell God we don't know what to say or do or some excuse to keep us from being responsible for the actions we know God wants us to take).  And God findly says, fine here is a little something to get you going... and that also has consequences.

Aaron became the mouthpiece of Moses who became the Godword to Aaron and through him to the Isralites.  So, originally, God had intended to give the message straight to Moses who would be HIS mouthpiece to both Pharoah and the Isrelites, but instead when Moses hears Gods messages, he gives the message to Aaron who is the mouthpiece to the Isrelites.  Then I flash forward to the 40 year deseart walk.

Each time the people lost physical sight/connection to Moses, it was as if they lost their connection to God.  Although Moses was God's messinger, when he went up on the mountain to get the Laws the people no longer "saw" God and began to panic and desperatly seek something to fill that place of fear, and in this case created a golden calf to worship.  Even Aaron, who had been privelidged to receive the words to speak God's plan, could not find his way without sight of his "godword" ... Moses.

So, my revelation (yeah I told you all that to tell you this hahahaha) is that perhaps the Isralites might not have fallen so far had they had Moses himself as the mouthpiece of God, being the direct link and their "directions and orders" so to speek would be coming straight from the horses mouth.  But, because they heard and saw Aaron as the mouthpiece of God and the words coming from Moses (a middle man so to speak) Moses, became their "god".

Because Moses would not act without God "changing" the perfect plan to a plan that worked he literally became the stumbling block for the people he was trying to save.  He placed himself between God and the mouthpiece instead of being the mouthpiece as God originally demanded of him and caused the Isralites to not see the "chain of command" clearly.  Moses' continued refusal to act without a visable support system interjected a hiccup in the plan.  The plan eventually did succeed and the Isralites eventually "got" their homeland, but the path they walked to get there was much longer than it would have taken (about 40 years longer lol) had Moses just accepted God directive and trusted in the I AM.

Interestingly enough that also explained to me something that I was never clear on which was why Moses did not get to go into the Promised Land.  I mean I know it was for hitting the rock to make the water come out after God told him to speak to it instead (obviously disobediance), but still I thought a kinda harsh punishment for someone who went through so much.  And then this revelation happened and I realized something else.  God wasn't just punishing Moses for dissobidance, He was punishing Moses for choosing to step into the shoes the Isralites had put on his feet.  When Moses chose to hit the rock instead of doing what God told him to do, he literally chose to step into the "shoes" of God.  He bought the hype!  He thought in that moment, that he, Moses was the power of God, that the rock would do what he demanded it do, by his decision, instead of presenting to the Isralites the God that sent power through him.  He took their complaints personally as if it were himself they were daring to complain aganist instead of being simply the messinger.

So, God forbid Moses to go into the Promised Land, not because he made a mistake or even for loosing his temper, but for presuming the actually believe in that moment that he, Moses, controled the holy Power of the most High God.

Now, this made sense in my head, but I may have to come back and read it and possibly edit or rewite it again to clearify if it did not lay out like I wanted to express. :) Or, maybe God will just make it clear despite my wording :D
(and mispelling) lol