The Dream (11-18-09)
I realized that I had what I thought was head lice, except they were tiny white worms about ½ inch to an inch long crawling in my hair. I freaked out quietly (too embarrassed to let my two friends who were in the hotel room with me know, although how they couldn’t know is a mystery). I would pull them out and throw them and when they fell they were not an inch long but more like 5 or 6 inches long and crawling on the couch right beside one of the girls, but she didn’t see them. One girl was there also in a chair and she was just talking away like she didn’t see them either and they were falling out of my hair and I was picking them out and tossing them to the ground.
Getting more and more embarrassed about them and wondering why I could not see any nits, I went into the hotel bathroom and grabbed a towel to try and rub my hair. When I pulled the towel back it was covered with black crunchy dust. It was like dried and dead nits and when you crushed it with your hands it turned to black power. There was LOTS of it and I then could pull handfuls of this black powdery stuff out of my hair as well.
Then I woke up.
1. I remember the dream elements vividly (usually an indication that it is a dream vision or message from God for me).
2. The “nits” were dead dust and posed no real threat for the future.
3. The “lice” wasn’t lice – it was something else that was neither.
4. Really big, but when close to me they were very tiny.
5. They were parasites and although not actually hurting me, they were disgusting and freaky.
Now, here is what God has revealed to me about the meaning of this dream, both from friends who’s Godly insight I trust and from God to me.
The “lice” or worm infestation is a visual representation of actually 2 related things, darkthoughts and spirital attack. The worms were the dark and hopeless feelings of emptiness and loneliness that God released me from recently. I was infested with them and didn’t realize it until I started looking in God’s mirror. Then I saw them all in my hair and started to get them out. It was only when they were out of my hair and I was a distance away from them that I saw that they were not simple little sad thoughts, but seriously large and subversive.
1. I could not see them until I was looking steadily into God’s mirror.
God is saying – make sure to look at myself through God’s eyes not my own.
2. God revealed that those little thoughts I considered minor were in fact much more serious and had much bigger effect on me than I knew.
God is saying – when in the middle of a spiritual attack I cannot always see my attackers clearly unless I am looking through God’s eyes. What seems minor or of no account to me, may be critical or very important to God and vise versa.
3. The other girls could not see them because they are friends who do not walk in the light of God. They are not bad, just not spiritually aware so they were unable to give me advice or even recognize that something was wrong.
God is saying – make sure to spend time in the company of good Godly people as well as the friends of this world. Although I am grateful that the “girls” in my dream did not see my “shame” I might not have had such an infestation if I had kept more Godly company more often who could see through spiritual eyes.
4. The worms were small in my hair, but were 3 and 4 times the size when cast out and seen from a short distance away.
God is saying – what seems small to me may be a much bigger deal to God. I did not believe that negative thoughts would really make a difference in life. I mean, they don’t change the reality of the situations we are in, so I thought I was telling the truth as I saw it (and I was) the problem is that it was the truth as I SAW IT, not as God saw it.
5. They were only on the outside and were not a serious threat to my life or health, just disgusting and vile.
God is saying – I am a child of God, regardless of my self-perceptions or feelings. The worms (spiritual attack) could only cover and confuse me and make me doubt God’s reality. They obscured the truth of my situation, not in where I live, but in how I VIEW where I live. They are vile because they keep me from being the reflection that God would have me be and although not immediately dangerous to my friends, they were very close and the threat was there that they could infect those around me.
6. Like #5, the nits were actually only dead and dry dust. They could not harm me or my future because they were dead, empty and hollow and easily crushed into dust.
God is saying – That though this attack (infestation) was causing me emotional problems, it had no real power to do any real damage and is a sign of God promising me that He is never away from me, even when I cut myself off from Him. It strikes me now, that God has been unable to reveal anything of real significance to me for a very long time (at least a year) because my “head” was covered in wormy thoughts that would not allow His voice to be heard. The really cool thing is that even though I was under a spiritual attack where I did not see or recognize God anywhere around me, God and the Holy Spirit were still there and were preventing the “nits” from taking serious hold and becoming a real threat.
7. Instead of looking for help and doing serious warfare with the worms, I tried to quietly pick them out one by one and not draw attention to myself – even going as far as to withdrawing to the bathroom to try and deal with the problem.
God is saying – I have let pride drive me into hiding instead of seeking help with my problem I tried to deal with it alone. The worms were steeling my joy and isolating me even further than I already am. God is not telling me to abandon my worldly friends, but to make sure that I fill my life with Godly people as well so that I can maintain some sort of spiritual balance. God knows that I cannot always see when I am under spiritual attack due to the nature of my personality :), but if I surround myself with Godly people then there is less of a chance of getting so greatly infested that it does start to affect my spiritual health.
8. I was in a hotel room, not my home or any permanent residence.
God is saying – I had gotten too in-trenched in a temporary situation and was making it my home, when it was only supposed to be for a short time. He had allowed me to move into this “hotel” so He could lead me into a major change in my life. It was only a temporary stop, but I became so infested with the dark thoughts (worms and under such spiritual attack) that I not only did not fight back, but I quit looking as well. I closed my eyes to all but what was right in front of me and made sure I never looked in a mirror. And the funny thing is that the whole time I could feel the worms crawling on my head like an little itch that I knew meant that I was going the wrong way and needed to find my way back to God, but it took a major shake up to make me look in the mirror again and see what was actually there.
So, although this was a seriously nasty dream, very high ick factor LOL, I am almost dancing on air because God is talking to me again in dreams. I don’t often like the content of the dreams, but I love the fact that God speaks to me with dreams and visions. It is like in the Bible where it talks about how in the last days, old men will dream dreams and young men will see visions, (I guess I am in the old category lol). It is confirmation to me that God considers me worthy enough to speak to me directly and that He does care about me both personally and from a kingdom perspective. It tells me that He does have a plan for my life and that I am not a random element of no consequence that drifts around His Kingdom waiting for the end. He would not speak to me, if He did not have plans for me to be used in His Kingdom. This time the message was to show me in a visual way what I have recently emerged from and provides a warning to guard against worms and head lice LOL.
NOW, I seriously have to go wash my hair!! Several times LOL!
Thanks for letting me share.
Update - I have also realized that the worms also represent the fantasies and daydreams which I had allowed to consume my life. Understandably, when life is not all we want or anywhere close, it is tempting to me to submerge myself in daydreams to escape a life that feels intolerable. However, in daydreams our feelings are so perfect and intense, we are everything we want to be and everyone around us is exactly who we want them to be with the right words and actions, and lets face it, life cannot measure up to fantasy. But, fantasy is not real. It will never be real and constantly living in the dream only makes real life more and more intolerable, but it is a lie. It is living inside of a lie. It might seem like fun for a while, or a needed escape, but eventually it becomes addictive and every time you have to live in the real world you suffer unbelievable withdrawal until you just no longer want to fact reality. God did not intend for us to exist in our own separate little universe, in fact he called us to go into that often sad and unhappy place to provide examples of how to live in the world and be at peace not lost in translation.
2 comments:
Gross! I'm so glad the "worms" are gone!
MEEEEE too !!
Thanks
B
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